Exposing Your Soul

Playboy Rose
Originally uploaded by mscaprikell.

I can't say that I do this without fear; but... I am who I am. period. More often than not, I am more than happy to let people see the absoulute me. I no longer see the point in covering or "protecting" my essence... I am proud of who I am; not in a conceited way... but rather in an "OH... I get it now" kind of way. That epiphany of Love. Words can hardly describe the feeling that I get when I know I've connected with someone on that level, too. It's rare, but once in a while... there is a person who sees past the physical, even through the ethereal... to that Soul Level. Not many are comfortable to keep looking at that... and it is challenging to stay at such a heightened state of awareness. If I were to describe enlightenment, it would have to be this "knowing" ... without having to have been "schooled" by anything... that bliss that occurs just because intuitively you feel what brought you to the Present Moment Awareness is ... YOU.... the True Self, the Ultimate Soul, the Source, Love... gentle it has set you here to experience everything you are not... and by negating the Self... you are then left only with that which IS. Exposing the Soul means tearing off man-made labels, washing off the scuffs and scrapes the human body has acquired, removing the veil of doubts... once the temporal is burnt off... what are you left with? Truth... AbSOULute Truth. Are you prepared to See With Soul Eyes?

Beaming Baywood Beauty...

Beaming Baywood Beauty...
Originally uploaded by mscaprikell.

I've been browsing through some of my sunset images... I can say that this one has been my most favorite shot to date. There is just something incredibly soothing about sitting in front of this ... live, of course, is the best.... but they go away.... extraordinarily temporal. Capturing this moment is something I enjoy sharing with others. Thus, my love for digital photography now. I used to shoot film, but I would take SO long to get it developed and would be disappointed at images for something I could have simply changed or shot a second time with a minor adjustment. I feel so spoiled now! And... I am dreaming bigger and better cameras again already.... I really do want to look into a camera that I can get different lenses for different circumstances. Macro... fish eye... telephoto... I am looking to capture the sweat off the brow of the busy bees pollenating the flowers!!! So, I hold that as an affirmation of eventual truth... I will get all of the equipment that I desire when the time is right... or when I am truly ready to utilize them. I sitll want to pursue getting my images sold or displayed in a gallery. I have ideas still. But something in me keeps holding me back... what could it be? Self-doubt? or fear of Success? Still trying to find the focus of my path and how my photography can be incorporaed with that. I love my photography... but I know I have a life purpose that is drawing me in specific directions... I think I can keep my creative passion/hobby along with my life purpose... who knows... they could very well work together as a positive benefit.

What a gentle weekend so far... I am re-watching (dvd run) a favorite series... and sitting at my computer playing on one of my favorite sites... and I stayed in PJs all day today!!!! wooohoooo! It's been a nice, sorta-recharging day... doing nothing... is kinda nice. I will get out and about tomorrow.... do a coffee run in the morning... meander out to the beach, maybe.... do some paper journaling.... find the sunshine.... and MAYBE.... go for a hike... which ... camera will capture many images! So tomorrow is going to be spontaneous.... first feat is getting me out of the house; that's what I am hoping the coffee shop visit in the morning will do... it's easy for me to sit there and journal while I drink my coffee.

I've steered clear of the north county right now... I just have not had the desire to go to the Mid-State Fair just yet... or maybe... just not alone. Friends mentioned possibly going there tomorrow... maybe that will be a spontaneous item for tomorrow. We shall see.

Baby Bird

Baby Bird
Originally uploaded by mscaprikell.

Yesterday was unusually difficult for me... I happened to come across a baby bird that had been displaced from the nest prematurely, by what means... I do not know. But, I couldn't just leave it there on the ground, so I put together a box of tissue and ecualyptus leaves for the baby to make it comfortable... I called my friend to ask her what to do with the baby bird since she worked at a vet clinic, I thought she would know what best to do. She informed me that there is a store in the Marigold Shopping Center that actually takes in rescue situations like this... my heart was happy. I took the baby bird into my office with me; figuring that since I was leaving early from work anyway that I would just shave an extra 1/2 an hour and swing by the store and drop the baby bird off to be taken care of. As I was sitting at my desk, I kept it within viewing so that I could monitor it's situation... it had a bit of labored breathing which I attributed to the fall... it was probably scared. It would fuss a bit and change a position ever so slightly and then settle in and cuddle in the tissue again. At one point, the baby bird started breathing very rapidly and it looked as though it was trying to chirp... I got very concerned and went to tell my supervisor that I was leaving earlier than expected... I logged off my computer and then walked over to the time clock to swipe my timecard. Quickly getting back to my desk, I pick up my purse and look down at the make-shift nest to assess the baby bird.... MY HEART SHATTERED... the baby bird had stopped moving... and stopped breathing.... it had passed on in THAT short of an amount of time. I had known the baby bird but for an hour.... but in that short amount of time I had given it my heart... I had given it all hopes of living and being well... even now as I type this I get teary and feel very heavy in the chest... I try figuring out the "why?" aspect here.... normally I had been staying in my car during lunch; writing in my journal; listening to music; etc... but that day I was compelled to get out of the car and take pictures.... I had captured images of a Momma Duck and her baby in the SLO Creek... just adorable... that's when I heard a rustling in the leaves... why me? I couldn't just leave it there.... I wanted it to live... I gave it all the hope I had... I envisioned it being set free once it was old enough... why me? I still hurt.... I don't completely understand what the full message from this experience is just yet... I know that it validates my sensitive side... but ... c'mon... that was no surprise.

Starting This to Use Later...

Wanted to try utilizing Flikr posting.... so here I go.

more later.